"He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love."
-Song of Solomon 1:4
In February 2014 I took a leap of faith and signed up on two well known singles websites eHarmony and Okcupid. I thought it to be a great tool to expand my horizons out of my normal circle. I was nervous and excited. I was a divorced mother of three teens exploring a new world of dating and I was so very open to the new possibilities that lay before me. Little did I know this one step would be a long journey of mistakes and failures.
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you are to go. I will guide you with my eye."
-Psalm 32:8
I was so hopeful that I would meet the next man who would capture my heart and embrace it for the rest of my life. He would be a godly man that believed in the power of God and was ready to love me like Christ loved the church. He would also be intelligent, witty, devastatingly handsome without knowing it, taller than me (it's my list), full of adventure and fruits of the spirit, and have some serious culinary and handy skills, with a love for outdoors. This list was easier written than produced I have to tell you. In fact, I found that the spiritual qualities on my list were not established in most, if not all of the men I was connecting with and they were professing Christians. Who was I kidding right? The more men I met online and offline, the more I realized men where not looking to love and embrace a woman's heart, they were looking to fill a lonely void and feed their carnal appetites.
A few times I mistakenly thought that their issues were mine and I did more appeasing, than leaving. Other times, before I could even learn their last name they were gone. Then there were some that I believed could be the "One," only to realize I wasn't as ready as I thought I was to manage all of the feelings that came with connecting with someone on a real level-so I jumped ship. I did regret leaving, but it was too late to return
A few times I mistakenly thought that their issues were mine and I did more appeasing, than leaving. Other times, before I could even learn their last name they were gone. Then there were some that I believed could be the "One," only to realize I wasn't as ready as I thought I was to manage all of the feelings that came with connecting with someone on a real level-so I jumped ship. I did regret leaving, but it was too late to return
"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked, who can know it?"
-Jeremiah 17:9
This truth about the men I was meeting and the fears I was nursing was a tough pill to swallow. That's when I knew than that God used this new direction in my life to show me the condition of men's heart and my heart too. Our hearts are bottomless pits of insatiable lusts and fears. If we do not allow God to deal with us we will continue hurting ourselves and others, until finally we will "feel" no more. It has been said by many, that if we don't learn to love God first we cannot love others and we cannot give to others until we learn to receive from Him.
I am no longer on the dating sites, seven months is long enough to know if somethings working for you are not. Right now, it seems the best position for me is on my knees in prayer interceding for our men, "that they all will be strong in the Lord in the power of His might" and that they will no longer live after the flesh, but unto God. Praying for myself that God's perfect love will remove all fear and I will walk in power, wisdom, and soundness of mind. I'm looking forward to the day I meet my "One," because I know he is praying for me and together in God's strength we will be victorious. Now that's love.
Father thank you for Your love for us. No matter how much we search this world we will never find a love like Yours. Your love is perfect and needs nothing added to it. As we open up our heart to share our lives with that special someone, may we first receive from You so that we may know how to love one another with a steadfast sacrificial nurturing love. In Yeshuas name, Amen.
(If you have been blessed-leave a comment. I would love to hear your heart.)
Disclaimer:The information contained in these blogs are for reflective purposes only, and may not apply to your situation. The author, publisher, distributor and provider provides no warranty about the content or accuracy of content enclosed. Information provided is subjective, but it contains an objective source. Keep this in mind when reviewing this blog and when considering using content for other purposes outside of this blog (http://www.easywritingtemplates.com/disclaimers/sample-disclaimer-statements/). Plagiarism is strongly discouraged. Studying the scriptures is highly recommended.
Disclaimer:The information contained in these blogs are for reflective purposes only, and may not apply to your situation. The author, publisher, distributor and provider provides no warranty about the content or accuracy of content enclosed. Information provided is subjective, but it contains an objective source. Keep this in mind when reviewing this blog and when considering using content for other purposes outside of this blog (http://www.easywritingtemplates.com/disclaimers/sample-disclaimer-statements/). Plagiarism is strongly discouraged. Studying the scriptures is highly recommended.
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